We Could Never....

Hi again everyone!  It's been quite some time since I have blogged, but I have some big news!  We FINALLY opened our home for fostering!  Our CALL coordinator asked for bloggers to blog about foster care and I figured now was as good of a time as ever to open this back up and begin blogging!

The title of this post is "We Could Never."  I want to begin with the fact that this was not our view on fostering.  In fact, it was something God called us to do and we answered.  We knew that if God called us, He would equip us.  That's exactly what He has done.  I titled this post because I hear those words often.  So often when people see us with our G-Man, I am told, "I'm so proud of your family.  We could never do it."

People, let me first just tell you this.  You CAN do this.  Will there be difficult times?  Of course.  Will there be tears shed?  Of course.  However, would you rather these sweet, precious children not experience love?  Don't they deserve us being attached and loving them?  Don't they deserve someone crying over them.  Don't they deserve our prayers?  Don't they deserve a home where they will feel safe and protected?  If you answered yes to any of those questions, then you CAN do it.  In the end, it's not about us, it's about them.  I think having my heart broken is worth it for these children to feel showered in God's love!

As we enter the unknown, we have to trust that God is by our side.  He will guide us and give us all we need.

Thinking ahead....

My heart is heavy and full of joy today.  I have so much on my mind, I feel as though I can't concentrate.  I keep thinking about what's ahead in our lives.  I know we are to live in the moment, but after reading another blog today, my mind can't seem to focus.  Let me explain....
I have a friend I used to work with.  She traveled to Honduras during Spring Break.  There she met a VERY precious little girl.  After meeting her, she knew right then, she wanted her.  See, this precious little girl is in an orphanage.  She is unwanted.  My friend and her family want her.  Their hearts are crying out to her.  They want to give her what she needs.  Not just what she wants, but what she needs.  She doesn't have a home, a family, someone to love her forever, or a good supply of food.  My friend just wants to give her her basic needs, plus MUCH more.  Things aren't moving along as they had hoped, there are some trials, but God is still moving.
This morning, I was reading my favorite blog.  Ashley Ann is truly an inspirational mother and wife.  She loves with all her heart and knows how to put it into words that make you wonder what you are doing with your life and are you really making a difference. She lets her kids be kids.  She's crafty and just full of joy! I love her blog.  This morning I was excited to read about her trip to China where she met her daughter.  Ashley has been on an adoption journey for a while.  She has known for many years she wanted to adopt.  Today, I finally got to see photos of her little one.  My how my heart leaped with joy.  She is absolutely gorgeous.  Her smile melted my heart.  The photos of her looking into Ashley's eyes and seeing her new dad hold her with tear-stained cheeks.....there are no words.  It just makes me sit back and wonder, "what am I doing?  Am I making a difference?"  I am not saying you have to adopt to make a difference.  But something is moving in my heart.  I can't explain it.  I don't know if it has to do with all the pregnant people around me, traveling to Honduras, or reading about these adoptions.  I just know God is moving in my heart.  He is telling me something.  I need to be still and listen.  Randall and I have both been led to foster.  And the odd thing is, I think we are both leaning towards the youth.  Most people would prefer younger ones.  For some reason we both see us with teenagers.  We both have agreed to look into it a lot more in about five years.  We want to be financially stable.  We are far from it.  We want to be able to support these kids on our own.  We have no idea what fostering involves, we just know we want to be a part of it.  I know that there are so many out there without a mother or father.  It breaks my heart to know they feel unloved.  Working with the youth, I see so many craving attention.  It burdens my heart b/c I want to give it to them, but they want their parents.  I want to make a difference.  I want to do what God is calling me to do.  I want to give love where love is needed.
I realize this is a lot of rambling, but I am posting b/c I want to ask for prayers.  Pray for our family as we open our hearts and allow God to guide us and show us what He wants.  Not what we want, but what He wants.

I'm Back! {Honduras Trip}

Whew....what an amazing trip I had!  It was such a blessing!  Let's just say there were a few kids who made me truly want to adopt and bring back home!  One brother and sister in particular!  They were well taken care of, but their sweet souls just made my heart ache for them b/c I want them!

I will start from the beginning!
On the way to the airport, it was POURING down rain.  We have prayed for rain all summer.  It finally hit so hard that we almost missed our flight.  Let's just say nothing was going to stop us.  Our flight was delayed a bit.  We were supposed to have fifty minutes in between our flights.  That quickly changed to twenty minutes.  We were running through the Houston airport.  I thought for sure we wouldn't make it.  We did thank goodness!  When we arrived in San Pedro Sula, a man accidently took off with my back pack which held my Kindle (way of communicating while down there) and many other things.  I take off running again and try to explain to him with hand motions that he had my back pack.  We get it figured out, but I was scared b/c here I was running through an airport with sawed off shotguns and I don't even speak their language!  Thank GOODNESS I got my bag back b/c as it turns out, only 3 people received their luggage.  Guess who did not? That's right- ME. I was so grateful to have some extra clothes in my carry on.
After we arrive we meet up with our AMAZING helpers, Manuel & Maira and the best Honduran driver- Louise!  They are absolutely the most helpful, loving people you will ever meet.  They take us out to eat at the Power Chicken.  YUMMO!  It was deliciouso!  Once we got to the hotel (about a 2.5 hour drive) we settled down in time for dinner.  Let's just say we were WIPED OUT!  The next three days we visisted two schools in the morning, ate lunch, and then we visited two schools in the afternoon.  Some even stuck around after school was over just to see us and hear God's Word!  I love the fact that we are allowed to share God's Word IN SCHOOL in Honduras.  If only that could happen again here.....  I think it's such an opportunity for me, b/c I work at a school.   I have to travel in order to bring God's Word to the public schools.....
All the schools had amazing children.  The boy I fell in love with was at the gate when we arrived.  He just smiled at me the whole time.  I kept my eyes out for him while we were there.  After we handed out the Shepherd Bags, we were able to enjoy some play time with them.  I played with him for a while and his sweet, gorgeous sister came up to me and I asked her if she was his sister.  She said yes, and I just wanted to scoop them up and go home!  They were so precious.  He hugged me many times and told me thank you.  He even kissed my cheek as we were leaving.  Needless to say, I left in tears.  I am so grateful for the little Spanish I know!
We were able to eat at a wonderful resturant and the other was so polite to us.  She did anything we needed her to.  She was one gorgeous woman too.  The mayor of Santa Barbara (where we went) even came along the first day and sent assistants the next few days.  She even paid for our spectacular hotel!
Before we hand out Shepherd Bags, our preacher preaches some and Manuel translates.  After, Manuel preaches some more.  Asks them to bow their heads, say a prayer, and then raise their hand if they meant it.  Seeing those precious glowing hands raised....there are no words.  Many souls more going to Heaven and when I get there, I can't wait to see their little faces!
The first time I went, I was a bit uneasy b/c all around me it felt evil.  I didn't feel safe where we went the first time in 2010.  This time, it was a whole different story.  We were accepted everywhere.  These people haven't had to experience the devil.  I am so happy God's seed was planted before the devil came.   Last time, I went to learn to put God first in my life.  I had put my family first and I knew that was wrong.  Leaving your children and trusting that God is protecting you all is a hard thing to do and I was so blessed.  I have God first in my life and I was able to relax and truly enjoy the country and their people!
We had some amazing people go with us.  Two special youth girls went.  What an experience!  They kept us on our toes and had us laughing until tears were running down our legs!  HAHA!  They are such precious souls and I think it is VERY important for younger generations to see poverty in true form and see what they have compared to others.
I am one blessed woman.  Now, to share some photos.......

Me and some kiddos on the first day, first school.  The one in the middle LOVED the camera!

 

Here is my boy....yes, I wish he was here with me now....

 

And here we are with his sister.  Isn't she breathtaking!?

 

Precious little saved souls I will one day see in Heaven!

 

Checking out what they received in their bags!

Down...

I can't seem to get out of my rut.  I know that my last few posts have been there to help others, I can't say that I am doing it all perfectly either.  It's so easy to say that once you have God, things will get easier.  Things will, in a sense.

I have to say that lately, I have been down.  I am not sure what's going on, but I can't see to "get a grip."  I feel as though I go day by day, just trying to make it to bedtime.  Of course, I have a lot on my mind: finals, photography (have like a million to schedule!), kiddos, youth, my studies, work, and cleaning this house.  How do I climb out?  How do you just "wake up" and "get a grip?"

I know one way is to dive into the Word of God.  I also love prayer and worship.  My mornings are quite rushed.  I am exhausted when I go to bed and when I get up.  I drop Randy off at daycare, drive to Ruthie's school, drop her off in JUST enough time to fly to work and get there on time.  When I am flying to work- that's my worship time.  I know a lot of people may think I can't concentrate on God while driving, but I can.  In fact, it's like my little bubble.  I don't have anyone talking, just a conversation with God.  It's so nice.  After my prayers, I like to crank up my Chris Tomlin CD.  There is no better worship leader than him.  When I hear those words and praise Him, I know the Holy Spirit is there with me.  It's such a blessing.  I haven't been as consistent on my worship in the mornings.  I do my prayer, but as soon as I am finished, I let my mind wander to everything else.  I am thinking this is a reason I am down.

I wonder....what are some things you do to just lift yourself up out of the rut?  Hit me with some ideas!

With that being said, I can't help but post a photo.  Here is something that always makes me smile! (Don't know why, but blogger makes my photos look washed out....UGH!)

Precious Words from a 5 Year Old

We had to make a pit stop at Dollar General today to pick up a few things.  Here in our large town, (actually teeny-tiny) it's all we have.  We are walking the aisles b/c we don't have much to do.  Ruthie tells me she wants to buy a birthday card for Jesus.  How in the world could I say no to that!?  So, we walk down the card aisle and I read a few to her.  This is the one she picks out:

On the ride home, she tells me, "Mommy after I ate lunch I prayed a prayer and I told God that I will do what He tells me to do and I know that He is always with me.  I kissed my bracelet and said "thank You for walking with me!"  (Her bracelet says "Walking with Jesus")

This touched my heart.  She is at the young age of 5 and she already knows and understands God more than I could ever imagine.  She blesses my heart and soul.  I pray that she always remembers this and continues to love God and grow with Him.  

Lord, thank you so much for the precious daughter you have allowed me to raise.  I pray that Randall and I can continue to raise her in your Word and follow Your will for her life.  She is a gift from You and we are so blessed to have her.  Thank You for Your kind words, and always being with her.  I pray that she grows to know You more and more.  Thank You God.  Happy Birthday sweet Jesus!  

Week Eighteen {Project52}

This week, I actually had quite a few photos to choose from.  So, I narrowed it down and I picked this one. 

There are many reasons why I picked this one.  Mainly, it's because this is where I found my true self.  I had Jesus before I went to West Park, but little did I know how much I was missing.  The Holy Spirit is here, and I am ALWAYS in a good mood when I am here.  I love my church family so much.  We are so blessed to know the people who go here and we are also blessed to have a preacher who is not afraid to step on toes and deliver God's Word!  His wife's pretty cool too!  She a fun, happy, God-loving woman! 

I am going to add some more photos to this post just b/c these were the others I have taken this week.

Randy loves to play with Ruthie's silly bands.  So crazy how popular this little things are!

T-ball season has begun!  Finally!  After 2 games being cancelled due to rain!

 Randy cheering for big sis!

 Smiling for Mommy!

 Ring Pops make ballgames more fun...and MESSY!

SUPER SWEET moment I caught on camera!  Love my precious gifts from God!



Radical

A few weeks back, a dear friend and co-worker introduced me to a book titled Radical by David Platt.  She was telling me about it and asked me if I wanted to read some of it on her Ipad.  Of course I did, it sounded very interesting.  Little did I know what an impact it would have on me.  The thing is, I am only half way through with the book, and my heart is so heavy, so full of a desire to do everything and obey my God. 

My issue is, where do I begin?  The book talks about all kind of different ways to help.  My mind is racing with all kinds of ideas:  help out a homeless shelter, provide food to the needy, buy clothes for the needy, sell my items that I don't need, pack up and move to Honduras.  Seriously.... reading this book changed my outlook on everything.  I am soaking every single bit of the book up, taking notes along the way, passing them on to Randall.  I think I might start blogging about some of the notes as well.  Maybe those posts will help others. 

The book talks about being Radical for God.  Here in America, we don't even understand what being "radical for God" means.  We think sitting in our padded church pews, in an A/C or heated santuary that costs more money than most people outside of America make in 10 years, for 1 hour (4 hours for those who attend Sunday School, Sunday night, and Wed night) with a parking lot full of millions of dollars worth of vehicles, is radical.  Um.....not so much.  We seriously have it all wrong.  We think we are doing what's right when we upgrade our phones, our cars, our clothes, our everything.  We also think that giving some money in the church plate and donating our clothes to the local shelter one time a year is enough.  I am not saying this isn't good, but is it RADICAL!?  When Jesus said to sell all your goods and follow me, he didn't mean sell what you don't want and come with Me.  He meant everything. 

So, my question for the people who read this blog, what are you doing that is Radical?  I want some ideas.  We live in such a tiny town ( not saying it has to be here in America)  and I would love to make an impact here to begin with.  I can't wait to start this journey.  Share with me please!  I am going to be praying hard about this, and I pray that you do too.  GET YOUR HANDS ON THIS BOOK!

Mothers

I recently did a post on fathers, and tonight I am being led to post one on mothers.  When I took this photo of my parents, I knew exactly how I was going to use it on here.  I was going to put my beautiful mother's photo up here, and brag on her!

Being a mother is one of the hardest job ever, but it is such a priveledge.  Think about it, God is trusting you to raise His children.  What an honor!  My mom is amazing.  She has always had a great ear for listening.  Trust me, I was NOT the easiest child to live with.  I was the baby....a bit spoiled.  But, I can say that my mom taught me about the most important thing in the world- salvation, and how to get salvation- through Jesus.  I remember her telling me that in order to go to heaven- I have to ask Jesus into my heart.  I did.  Thank goodness I had a woman of God as my mother.

My mom was and still is one hard working woman.  She works too hard in my honest opinion.  She is a very patient woman.  She did wait 11 years for the pool of her dreams!  She taught me how to love my children and she taught me to be picky when it came to the man of my dreams.  She married a wonderful man.  Of course, they had rough times, but she stuck through the hard times and they have a wonderful marriage.  I can only dream Randall and I will still love each other that much when we are that age.

Being a mother is such an honor.  I look at my precious babies every day and wonder how God could trust me to raise two precious children.  My prayer for them is that one day they come to know Christ.

Thank you mom for raising me right and teaching the ways to be a good mother.  I love you!

Can I just say-

that I am overcome with joy for Jesus?! Things are going great right now. I am doing really good at seeing the positive things in life. Our church is allowing us to grow. I just love life right now. Randall and I have had some amazing conversations about what we are learning and experiencing. I feel so blessed and loved. I feel so honored to be a part of our church and a child of God. Don't get me wrong, there are trials and obstacles I face, but I know there are better days ahead. The life I am living right now will be considered no longer than a blink of an eye when I meet Jesus face-to-face. Our house is a just a "hotel" b/c I won't be here forever and I have a mansion built for me in glory. What an amazing feeling!

I love watching Ruthie grow as well. I can't get over the fact that she loves to look at her Bible. Now as you saw in the picture in this post, her Bible is just a small New Testament Bible. It has no pictures. I love watching her look at it. It's almost like she has peace looking at it. Her prayers bring so much joy to me, and I know they do to Him as well. I love knowing I am doing the right thing by raising our daughter to love Jesus.