This post has been on my mind for quite some time. Today in Sunday School, God laid it on my heart to share.
We have been participating in a study by Chip Ingram called "Effective Parenting in a Defective World." The title itself is perfect. I was so excited to just begin. I normally teach Sunday School for ages 8-10, but I asked to take some time off to study along with the adult SS class.
I am going to open my heart here. It's a very difficult thing for me to talk about....
I have expressed my feelings here to be a stay-at-home-mom. It's what I wish for. But, God has made me aware that it is not possible at this time. Who knows if it ever will be. One reason I want to be a SAHM is so I can home-school Ruthie and Randy. I absolutely hate the fact that I can't shield Ruthie's ears from the awful things she hears at school. I also hate the fact that she rides the bus with older kids and who even knows what they say. It scares me to death. I feel as though the moment Ruthie walked into Kindergarten, her innocence was lost in a way. She has heard things that just bothered her, which in turn, bothered me.
With all that being said, the other day we were driving to school. She brought up how her cousin goes to a Christian school. She asked why she can't and I had to explain to her that it's just not something we can do at the time. I told her I would love for her to go to school and have God be in her lessons and be surrounded by people who love God. She cried and cried, which of course made me cry feeling like a failure. Then, our great God laid it upon my heart to share with her something that I learned last summer from a dear family member of mine. If we took all God loving Christian kids out of public school and put them into private school, who would teach the others about God? Isn't that OUR job as Christians to spread His word? I told her that school is her mission field. I explained to her that there are kids that don't know God and who need someone to teach them. I also told her that it's not the teachers job to teach her about God, but it's mine and Randall's job to teach her. The amazing thing?? She remembered. She was telling my sister that she wants to go to a Christian school, and she told her that she also needs to stay at her school and tell the kids about Jesus. She WAS listening!!!
I am NOT saying that Christian private school is bad. Not by any means. Like my aunt told me last year- it all depends on the child. If the child is a leader- they will probably succeed in public school. If they are a follower, they will probably do better in private school. Is Ruthie a leader or follower? That I don't know just yet. I would probably say right in the middle. Am I still scared she is going to hear all kinds of things? Yes. We pray every morning before school and I pray as soon as I drop her off that God will protect her ears, hold her hands in the halls, and that angels will surround her. I also pray that she always remembers that HE is the one who matters.
Raising children today is so hard b/c the world makes it so much easier to do things the worldy ways and not God's ways. He doesn't want us to just shelter them to where they don't see it, but to allow them to see some, and teach them to be strong in their faith so when their tests come, they can stand firm in His ways.
It's my prayer that soon, Ruthie will ask Jesus into her heart. She knows what it means to be saved. She knows that He died on the cross for her, and that we are sinners, yet He loves us. We just told her that soon Jesus will be knocking on her heart asking her to let Him come in. I pray that she realizes it and that she opens her hear to Him. He's worth everything.