My heart is heavy and full of joy today. I have so much on my mind, I feel as though I can't concentrate. I keep thinking about what's ahead in our lives. I know we are to live in the moment, but after reading another blog today, my mind can't seem to focus. Let me explain....
I have a friend I used to work with. She traveled to Honduras during Spring Break. There she met a VERY precious little girl. After meeting her, she knew right then, she wanted her. See, this precious little girl is in an orphanage. She is unwanted. My friend and her family want her. Their hearts are crying out to her. They want to give her what she needs. Not just what she wants, but what she needs. She doesn't have a home, a family, someone to love her forever, or a good supply of food. My friend just wants to give her her basic needs, plus MUCH more. Things aren't moving along as they had hoped, there are some trials, but God is still moving.
This morning, I was reading my favorite blog. Ashley Ann is truly an inspirational mother and wife. She loves with all her heart and knows how to put it into words that make you wonder what you are doing with your life and are you really making a difference. She lets her kids be kids. She's crafty and just full of joy! I love her blog. This morning I was excited to read about her trip to China where she met her daughter. Ashley has been on an adoption journey for a while. She has known for many years she wanted to adopt. Today, I finally got to see photos of her little one. My how my heart leaped with joy. She is absolutely gorgeous. Her smile melted my heart. The photos of her looking into Ashley's eyes and seeing her new dad hold her with tear-stained cheeks.....there are no words. It just makes me sit back and wonder, "what am I doing? Am I making a difference?" I am not saying you have to adopt to make a difference. But something is moving in my heart. I can't explain it. I don't know if it has to do with all the pregnant people around me, traveling to Honduras, or reading about these adoptions. I just know God is moving in my heart. He is telling me something. I need to be still and listen. Randall and I have both been led to foster. And the odd thing is, I think we are both leaning towards the youth. Most people would prefer younger ones. For some reason we both see us with teenagers. We both have agreed to look into it a lot more in about five years. We want to be financially stable. We are far from it. We want to be able to support these kids on our own. We have no idea what fostering involves, we just know we want to be a part of it. I know that there are so many out there without a mother or father. It breaks my heart to know they feel unloved. Working with the youth, I see so many craving attention. It burdens my heart b/c I want to give it to them, but they want their parents. I want to make a difference. I want to do what God is calling me to do. I want to give love where love is needed.
I realize this is a lot of rambling, but I am posting b/c I want to ask for prayers. Pray for our family as we open our hearts and allow God to guide us and show us what He wants. Not what we want, but what He wants.