I want to say that I fully trust God and always see the positive in everything and that I always have full faith. I love it when my eyes are opened to see the full love of God. I can sit her and tell you that I love God, I worship Him, and that He is my everything. But, I am still a sinner. I still fail Him. I still don't understand why He loves me. Today was a day when He opened my eyes to so much more.
As Randall holds me, he tells me that God has it all planned out. When He takes some things away, we can't cry and just give up as I was doing. We have food, shelter, each other, and most importantly- God's love. What else do we need? Did I already know this? YES. Was I thinking this? NO. I was feeling all sorry for myself and letting material things get in the way. God has me and will never let go. Randall told me my hope and faith should be in Him and Him only.
As I drive back to work, God just put a song in my heart and again, made me realize how much He loves me. Yes, things suck right now, but God is always right there....even through the sucky times. My life is in You Lord, my strength is in You Lord, my hope is in You Lord!
Let me add that I know that what I am going through doesn't even begin to compare to what others are going through- cancer, adoptions, losing loved ones. But, what makes God so awesome is it doesn't matter the severity, it just matters where your hope lies. I am so thankful for the God I serve. All I had to do was fall to my knees and ask for help. Instead I laid there in self pity. Thank you God for forgiving me.
I honestly don't know what I would do without a Godly husband. He wouldn't have known just what to say. My husband does because He serves God. Thank you God for opening our eyes and pulling us back to You.