Sunday, May 25, 2008

Not sure what's going to happen-

I have lost my 4 part-time children for the summer. I was depending on them for income this summer. It was my 2 part-timers I had already and each of their siblings. The funny thing, I am not stressed. I know we will be fine with whatever happens.

Part of me wants to figure out how to just stay at home and not keep kids. The other part wants to have kids at home to keep an income coming in. I have no desire to work out of the home. Since I have been able to stay at home with Ruthie (which I didn't get to do until she was 15 months) I have no desire to go back to work. There are days where I miss having adult conversation, but I know I will miss her more. So, what is a woman to do? Do we cut out trips to ballgames, eating out, internet, home phone, and satellite? OR, do I look for more kids? I will have 2 full-timers ( I think) when school starts back. No matter what I will have a little bit of money coming in b/c I will help with my niece and nephew. My sister (who is a teacher) and I always help out my other sister who needs a sitter during the summer.

I wish I lived somewhere that I could find a way to work from home and make good money without keeping kids. Ruthie's a totally different kid without the kids here. She's naughty while they are here and the moment they leave, she's back to being sweet. I sometimes wonder if I am doing the right thing for her. It would be nice to have the extra money so that's why I want to find a job that I can work at home with. But, I wonder if we can make do if I don't. We need to figure it out soon. I just know that God will provide. I just need to trust Him and lean on Him. He's here for me, I just have to fully trust in Him and I am. There are very, very few times in life when I don't worry, and this is one time where I am not.

Church today was just awesome. He read an article in one of our newspapers. It was letting the parents know how to raise a child in a house that God built. It made me feel good b/c I am doing my part now, even though she's little. When Bro. Troy speaks of the moment you know your child has accepted Christ, it ALWAYS gives me chills. Some of you have lived that moment, but mine is still too small to understand. I can't wait for the moment she accepts him. There can not be a prouder moment for a parent. No moment can be sweeter than that.

I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend. I am very thankful for all who have served and lost their lives for our freedom. My heart and prayers go out to their families as well.


BethAnne said...

It is so hard knowing what to do as a mom, but I am sure the Lord will open the doors for you. In our area, some of the hospitals allow some of their their employees to work from home (I mean those who arent dr's and nurses)- you might ask around and see if there is anyone around you who works from home....those kind of jobs may be more prevalent than you think. One thing I do know from reading your blog is that you are a great mommy and Ruthie is a blessed little girl (and a cutie too!)

Mari said...

You are a great Mom and I know you always put Ruthie and Randall first. I know God will take care of you and give you direction in what you should do. I'll be praying for you.

Cheri said...

The same thing happened to me the beginning of this year. I didn't look for more kids and yes the money is missed, but I can't wait to just have my own kids this summer. I've been doing daycare for 14 years and I was ready to be done.
You are a great mom and you will do what's right for your family.